Date: 10 February 2011
by Mommypixie

Will be starting Isla.X on childcare and she will enter childcare this coming Wednesday, on 9 Feb 2011.

Having very mixed feelings about this.

On the one hand, it means that I will be able to work, have some personal time and give her some structure and routine, which is sadly lacking for her, due to my work arrangement, our staying in Beijing and me having no help in Singapore. So it is good right?

On the other hand, I do not know how well she or I can handle this separation. Handing her over to strangers instead of trusted relatives.

And I have this guilt that perhaps I did not pick the best possible childcare centre for her. I picked this one mainly due to its close proximity to where we stay. I can walk to the centre with her.

And the guilt that with her in childcare, I will have my freedom back! For like 3 half days per week in Feb, so that I can go to work and perhaps run errands or sleep in on days I don't have to work, without the guilt that my poor mother is looking after Isla.X while I am happily working.

I have to deal with guilt.

Been feeling guilty since I gave birth.

Wonder if it is some kind of depression that I am facing.

Oh, Isla.X will be doing 3 half days in February, and then 3 or 5 full days from March onwards, due to the vacancies available in the childcare centre.

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